I have always had a
bit of trouble with anxiety, but when I was 14 I was set on a path
that made the next 10 years of my life pretty hard. Of course there
were some amazing moments in there, by no means has my life awful.
But looking back there are some things I wish that timid little girl
had known. I wanted to do a letter to my younger self post, but this
proved too difficult. Hopefully one day I will have the strength to
face those awkward teenage years, but for now I thought I could make
a list of the things I wish I had known.
1. You should never
settle.
In the last 10 years
I have settled way more than I should have. Settled for what I didn’t
want because it was what other people wanted. Settled in
relationships when I knew I wasn’t happy but I was made to believe
things were as good as they got. I have settled in many different
areas of my life and the decision has always been wrong, I never knew
it was OK to do what I wanted.
2. You can trust
yourself.
I have a major
confidence issue. If I am asked a question I know the answer to I am
likely to to keep quiet or say I don’t know because I don’t trust
that I am right (even though I know I am.) I have struggled to trust
my own decisions, almost to the point that I didn’t know it was OK
to do what I thought was right.
3. People won't
understand the way you feel, but that's ok.
Through my anxiety
and depression I learned that people will only understand for so long
before they want you to snap out of it. Even if that person has been
through the same thing they are still different to you and will never
fully understand. Don't get to upset by this. Everyone will serve
their purpose and eventually you will find the strength to pull
yourself out.
4. It's OK that you
don't know what you want to do when you grow up.
I still didn’t
know when I left University after doing a journalism course!! I found
any job I could get and ended up really loving it. And I still love
writing in my own way. You don't need to know the direction you want
to go in because you can work it out as you go.
5. You will be
happy.
I'm pretty sure that
every teenager goes through a time of wondering if they will ever
live happily ever after. I can't know that at only 24, but what I do
know is I am happy and I have been happy in the past. 24 has been a
good year for me and at this point in my life that happily ever after
is very possible for me.
6. You are not
average.
I can't really find
the words to explain this one, but I have always put myself down with
the word average. Someone put this into my head and I wish I knew
they were wrong. I have finally learnt to love myself (this is still
hard sometimes) and I wish I knew sooner that I am what I make of
myself.
7. Stand up for
yourself!
This is something
that over the past couple of yours I have gotten a lot better at. It
may have caused some arguments, but it was worth it. Don't be pushed
around! It is NOT OK!
There are so many
more!! But I think these are the fundamentals. When you're a teenager
and you are going through a crappy time it seems like there will
never be a light at the end of the tunnel. Those years don't really
matter any more, and I have only just started the years that have
mattered enough to make a difference!
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